the heart is a bone

this is a story of love, heartbreak, and everything in between. i can remember his face but his voice fades everyday- i’m sure i can tell our story as i recall it.

I remember the days

Way back when

I’ll take you back too

Back to when school began

When we were stereotypes

The basket case and the troubled kid

When we were innocent

Before the trouble began

You hated your mom

And I was a no one

You were a lost kid without a family

I was a girl who begged to be loved

Let’s travel to when we first met

Back to the loud halls of school

I saw you and couldn’t look away

I had fallen in love like a fool

When we first spoke, way back before the labels stuck

I was astounded by your soul

The way your blue eyes fell on me

And made me feel like I was gold

Your smile roped me in

With you, I’d gladly grow gray and old

“Be careful, he’s a hellraiser,” I was told

But I didn’t quite care

No one knew a high

Akin to being in your hold

I remember how your face fell as you told me your pain

Tears danced over the blunt you rolled

I hold a picture of you to my chest

The apartment we shared now feels cold

You found love elsewhere

And now I sleep in our bed alone

Take me back to our graduation

The way you smiled and tossed your cap proudly

Take me back to our first frat party

When you bloodied a boy who spilled his drink on me

When you held me up over the toilet bowl crying

Unaware of how hard it was for you to see

I'm tearing up now at all of the memories

First kiss, first trip, first everything

These days when I close my eyes

Your gray skin is all I can see

Take me back to the unavoidable chaos

Brought on by soulmates finding each other too early

When you had girls coming in and out of your room

When I puked and cried drunkenly, alone, without you

When I kissed a boy and you smashed a plate

Then apologized for scaring me

Deciding to make it up to me

In a way that wasn't so PG-13

Soon the girls stopped coming

Because you stopped letting them in

Spending your mornings gazing at my sleeping form

Kissing my forehead while I rested on your rising chest

Take me back to the days you'd carry me home from the bar

Drive home with me clinging to your body

When you blared music and we sang along

When you passed out behind the wheel and crashed our car

Take me back to when things were bad again

When you slept with another girl in our bed

When you said you hated titles

When you came home less and less

When you had lipstick stains on your neck

When our relationship was hanging by a thread

Bring me back to when you said you hated me

And drove your fist into the wall beside my head

When you chased me out of the flat

Into the dark, dangerous night I went

Take me back to when you couldn't stop blaming yourself

For the man who had slipped something in my drink

When you brought me to the hospital and never visited

Because you said you needed time to think

Take me back to our final kiss

That happened just six months ago

When I could taste your tears

Running between our lips

When you said goodbye and faded away

When my memory of you left with just a few sips

Now I can't remember how many bottles I've had

But the feeling of your love has died

You're just another one who left me in the dust

You were my hardest goodbye.

aZJJicosneuhfomnaiss yuo

........................

It's been ten years

I hope I never forget the days way back when

When we were stereotypes

The basket case and the troubled kid

When we were innocent

Before the trouble began

I hope I remember the love we shared

The tears, the kisses, and the romance

Because ten years ago

I watched your Rosewood box go into the ground.

From time to time, I still recall graduation day

The way you smiled and threw your cap

Or when you saved me at our first frat party

Or the chaos and puking and all of the drinks

...That never happened

Because you killed yourself at thirteen

Before you smashed plates and before you could chase me out

You died a troubled kid

And left your basket case all alone

At fourteen, I watched them bury you twenty years ago

And replay the moment of when we met

Every night before I sleep.

The end.