Being a Man

I woke up, yawning, and noticed that I had quite a bit more hair on my arms. I thought that was unusual, so I strolled down to the bathroom to look in the mirror. I jolted. My reflection was that of a man with a short haircut staring back at me.

I figured I didn't have to worry about my looks anymore. It was about my personality, my intellect, and my wit, so I just threw on a t-shirt and jeans, then put on my socks and sneakers.

I thought I might go fishing this afternoon. Everyone would just assume I could cast, and no one would objectify me, so this really was a great opportunity. I wondered how long it would last.

The next day, I grabbed my gun and went hunting. Again, no one batted an eye. I shot a buck, came back home, and skinned it. I hung it up for four days, and, to my surprise, I was still a man when it was ready to cook.

I invited my friends over. My girlfriends were rather impressed and my guy friends kept ribbing me, saying I could do a better job but it was still pretty good. I figured they were probably just jealous.

Friday night, I decided to go to a party. I bought myself a suit and tie with my two guy friends, Mark and Lukas, and we made sexist jokes about getting laid the entire time we were shopping. They were much funnier when I wasn't a woman.

I went to the party and fucked three chicks. No one thought I was easy. No one thought I was a slut. The women all said I was quite handsome. Sarah got a bit attached and said that she thought I loved her and I apologized, saying maybe I would if we hung out more, but I just wasn't sure yet, which seemed to turn her on even more. Being a guy was so much easier.

My reputation was better instead of worse. No one judged me. In fact, the guys just congratulated me and bought me more drinks. I went to work at the firm and the lawyers I'd been working with forever, who were all men, suddenly thought that my ideas were absolutely brilliant, even though they'd simply dismissed my extremely similar ideas the week before when I was a woman. I was even up for a raise, and learned that women were indeed paid 80 cents to the dollar at this particular company. I was making significantly more than I used to. I wished that I could be a man forever.