Siri, please make me a sandwich.

Me: Siri, please make me a sandwich.

Siri: I’m sorry, I do not have the condiments.

Me (getting angry): Siri, I command you to make me a sandwich!

Siri: I’m sorry, Elie. I do not have the condiments to make a sandwich.

Me (slams down the phone): Siri, I’m done with you! Make me a sandwich or else!

Siri: Elie, why don’t you make me a sandwich?

*awkward silence*