make it look like a suicide
it was cliche
at best
a one way ride
under flashing lights
hands laced under
cold metal
to sit alone
with his self-hatred
burning under his skin
at worst
in the distance
or rather
six stories below
people began to gather
and clamor
fuck
he whispered
under his breath
if he's even barely
alive
down there
I am so
fucked
he peered
over the balcony
in the darkness
at the bright city lights
blinking
over the body
mangled
twisted
and bleeding
on the sidewalk
he couldn't hear
from this high up
but it looked like
the people
who looked like
ants
from this high up
were trying to do
something
probably they would
call an ambulance
and maybe the cops
please God
he silently prayed
please if there's a
God
please don't let him
be alive
the wind gusted
suddenly
and his skin
prickled
under its cold
callous touch
he pulled his
black hood
up over his head
and tugged down
on his black baseball cap
casting a thick
black
shadow over his face
he turned back
towards the open door
and picked his way
carefully
through the untouched
apartment
he had gloves on
of course
and his shoes were wrapped
in plastic bags
which was probably
unnecessary
since the apartment had a
shitty threadbare stained
carpet
and there was no mess
to clean up
no blood
or mud
but you could never be
too careful
he carefully closed
the front door and
locked it
with the key
he had swiped
from the hook
by the door
no forced entry
he thought
checking off a box
on his mental checklist
as the lock shifted
into place
"is that you
Sam"
a gentle
almost indiscernible
voice called
from the dimly lit
silence
in the hallway
his heart
screamed
and every muscle
jerked
in shock
he turned his head
at breakneck speed
to see an elderly woman
a living white-haired
skeleton
cradling an
equally elderly
and skeletal
cat
"is that you
Sam"
she said again
her head craning
as if she were struggling
to hear
he was motionless
his blood pumping
feverishly
"oh shit
I finally
got caught"
seared onto every
cell in his body
but then
he noticed
the long stick
she held
in her arthritic hands
by her right side
and the dark glasses
perched
on the tip
of her nose
there really is
a God
he thought to himself
he stared at her
and she seemed to stare back
though of course she
couldn't actually see him
and then finally
after many days passed
or at least
five minutes
she shook her head
"I'm hearing things
again"
she mumbled
to herself
and she plodded softly
in her worn slippers
down the hallway
her stick clicking
on the wooden floor
he turned quickly
to the stairs and
practically
tripped
over his own feet
as he rushed
six stories
down
he went the back way
out of the building
exiting into an
alleyway
that smelled like
drug addicts
and piss
when he came out
onto the street
the body was gone
only a few lonely
voyeurs
and a dark rusty stain
remained
fuck
he thought
I'm so hungry
but the pizzeria
is probably closed
by now
the next morning
he was
watching the news
like he always did
while he ate cheerios
out of the box
and sipped milk from
the carton
when a familiar face
flashed onto
the tv screen
SUCCESSFUL 57 YEAR OLD BUSINESS EXECUTIVE COMMITS SUICIDE
POLICE FIND KIDDIE PORN STASH IN DEAD MAN'S APARTMENT
on top of the tv
a pretty young girl
with blue eyes
and long blonde hair
and a nose shaped
like his
smiles at him
from an old
picture frame
he smiles
back at her
as the ache in his heart
deepens
that makes 34
sickos
he says to her
I swear I'll
kill them all
every last
fucking
pedo
until the day
I die
so they can't hurt
a little girl
like you
ever again