Unusual Uses For Life’s Lemon
When life gives you lemons, use them as a weapon against haters.
Just cut a 1-inch incision through the rind of any lemon and stop halfway through the lemon's flesh. Mark that spot with a Sharpie. Place in your dominant arm's pant pocket. When you encounter a hater, pull out your lemon. Quickly find the Sharpie-mark. Point the mark within 12-inches (304mm) of hater's face. Squeeze the lemon as hard as you are angry. Then, drop the lemon and walk away. Start running. Pick-up speed gradually. Then, try to blend in with the crowd. Sometime later, wash your hands thoroughly to get rid of the lemony scent, as the K-9 unit or hater will be hunting you down. Prepare another lemon once you return home and your heartbeat has returned to 70bpm or below.