endless shallow thoughts
i guess i
hoped i
had
done something
right for once
but now
kids joke the
world’s gonna
end so i
guess that
didn’t
work, then, huh
netflix shows, i
never watch
them, but now
there’s
some level of
comfort in them,
90s settings,
before this all
upset everything,
human contact,
big lives,
not just ghosts
i always feel
like a ghost
lately, but
this is a
new
level.
everything else
fades except for
the reds
of
the tv.
memory is
blue, and
i am
missing
things i swore
i’d never miss
anymore.
something about
this has
to relate to
me, right?
but it doesnt,
though every
single
human
probably feels
like it has
something to
do with them.
for me? a
cruel cosmic joke.
you finally
finally
like your life?
let’s ruin
it
i practice my
guitar. i practice
it again. i
dream of
large
gatherings i could
play it at.
i’ve always joked
i want to
be a hermit,
that i
hate
humans.
turns out,
i really like
humans.
i draw another
person. i try to
make
cookies. i mess
them up. i cant
do anything
right
im young, wreckless,
and beatuiful
but the only
thing
i
have to mess
up are
cookies.
what if
this is
my ruin?
what if everything
gets cancelled
and im just
always here?
what if i
missed
my chance?
should
i have
done something else?
the sun is so much brighter. i look outside and smile. i call my friends, we laugh, we sing. maybe this is fuel for a generation who’ll write great books and keep the sky clean.