patterns of overthinking (every-fucking-thing)

it was too late to drive home

and exactly, adults don’t have a curfew,

so what does it matter if i come home when i

fucking want to?

2 seconds, 5 minutes, 30 minutes, 10 hours

away

traffic or no traffic

i think i will stay

i adult everyday.

my car was fucking up

well obviously it was,

seeing how it just got fixed for a good

amount of dough

and driving a fucked up car

in the dead of the night

when highwaymen may stop to help you

or to harm you-

well i wasn’t chancing it either/or.

i was too tired

and maybe i was,

tired eyes see even less well than mine.

i don’t battle the dark,

preferring safety over sorrow.

and it doesn’t really matter if i stayed up

super late,

hanging out with friends-

like you don’t know how the lines can

become all blurry

once the yawns set in.

i got sooo fucked up, i couldn’t drive home

and for the record

i never drive intoxicated

and i rarely suffer from hangovers

if at all.

it was raining too hard

so yea i stayed

i can’t see for shit at night

let alone in the rain.

and it doesn’t matter if i have the bomb

windshield wipers or not

night time plus shit tons of rain

equals no driving for me.

i can hardly see in the daytime when the

sky insists on dropping gallons of rain,

but my windshield wipers suck balls by the

way,

still it wouldn’t have mattered.

like i said i don’t see well at night

so rain+bad night vision+bad drivers

means i am fucking staying right where i am

and don’t give a shit if it makes you mad.

all patterns of your overthinking

these are just 5 ways i see you

trying to control me,

but i am gonna keep being me

over and over.

7 out of 8 times you’ve been betrayed in love

but not by me,

we haven’t even grown into a relationship yet,

still i have never done you wrong,

i am your friend.

i’m just trying to figure me out

so i can bloom into the woman i know i am

supposed to become

so i can love myself first and give freely my

heart without bringing my damage along

so stop overthinking and overstepping

every single thing

because you aren’t going to control me

i have already had that relationship before

and let me tell you,

it never works.