I really miss her

More than I thought I would.

Not sure exactly why I hadn’t let her know just how much I love her.

There’s a void .

A vacuous, gaping hole.

This nothing-ness.

This emptiness.

This unknown space I currently reside in;

This new me.

New us.

New normal,

Is at best debilitating for the most part,

Has made the last 7 months and one day more than a little bit of a mash up.

A mixup kadooshus which is a descriptor of the sum of you and your parts.

I forgot how to feel.

For a time.

But now find it difficult to switch my feelings off!

I’ve not said I love you as much as since “that day.”

The day the world ended for a heartbeat,

Then restarted.

Without you.

Without us,

As the whole we once were.

We were none of us really ready.

That’s the problem,

We never are.

But I’m ready always for the challenge.

To step up to the mark and be my best self living my best life.

Trying to be you by trying not to be you and not trying to be you!

The irony.

If I read anything you said correctly,

What you were trying so emphatically to impart was;

Be what your soul tells you to be by feeling instead of thinking.

Have a heart and use it to think.

Mum; I really do love you!

No ifs.

No buts.

No conditions.

Just I really, REALLY love YOU!

Shall

Pick

This up,

When

It’s

Turn

Step

Off

The

Podium