hic est nos

are we really over,

you ask with teary eyes,

i can't live without you,

please, i didn't mean to

but my hand is already at the door,

shaking with fury as

i cast my gaze upon your pitiful features

you didn't mean to,

i snap,

wheeling around,

just like you didn't mean to fall in love with me,

just like you didn't mean to ignore me on dates,

or not have time for someone as useless as me,

or not give a damn when you missed the most important night of my life

sure,

you didn't mean to

fat tears cascade down the sides of your face

streaking your rosy cheeks

with the remnants of your guilt

that is,

if you felt any

you trembled and you screamed,

begging like some lonesome dog for me

to not leave

to not go

to stay with you

in your stupid studio apartment

but i couldn't hear it

i couldn't hear it

through the memories

of crying my heart out every night

of wondering why you smelled like perfume every other day

through the memories of

cheap dollar store chocolate boxes

you bought me when i was upset with you,

with your childish mindset

thinking that it was the solution to mend together

the cracks in our relationship

through the tidal wave of emotions

when i finally found your phone,

the wave that broke all my hope

of you ever loving me back

then through the memories

of missing you

of missing us

we need a break,

i say,

trying to bite back a sob,

this isn't good

for either one of us

no,

you yell,

we can make it work

i'll make you happy

i give a small chuckle

at the silly response

we're over