I Tried To Cry

I tried to make myself cry. Why? I was happy ground level, not grave nor sky

I tried to cry, may seem strange to you, but it seemed like something I’d be able to do

After all I’ve bawled over big and small, I take molehills and they grow tall

So I reached down deep and I pulled them out, shouting all these things I’d forgotten about

I’m fat and lazy and made of flesh, and they all hate me though they won’t attest

And God is dead, and I will be soon, but not before my financial ruin

When these thoughts bubble up it means I’m in trouble. Exponential, each one doubles

But as I tried to bring myself down, there came no tears just a confused frown

For these things weren’t bullets and they sure weren’t bombs, these things were boring or simply wrong

And I realized with a start and I realized with a wince that I can argue but I’ll never convince

My mind that any of this isn’t real because real is not what they’re trying to be

My emotions are set, chemical, electrical, and I try to make reasons, poetic and logical

My thoughts don’t matter my thoughts don’t matter it’s all a thin skin and my thoughts don’t matter

Why am I crying? I can give you lies

I can give you my most earnest tries

To make my mind a computer, not an organ

Why am I crying? Because I’m on my period.

#pms #gender #brainchemistry