You’re caving again. And you wish the emptiness inside you wasn’t so comforting at times, because now every time you find a reason to look forward to life, that voice inside you says something is wrong. You feel like the more sadder you get, the more you forget what happiness feels like and the more alien the feeling becomes when it arrives.
You’re tired of fighting for clarity between what’s present and what’s yet to come as if the two are just an illusion you keep forcing yourself to believe until your emptiness gives up and moves away. But, you don’t realise that emptiness has room for everyone. It’s you who chooses to stay and you’re chasing after the feeling like it’s all you’ve ever felt. I’m sorry I’m not there to comfort you and tell you, “You don’t have to hide away. It’s okay to feel that way but it’s not okay to want to keep feeling that way.”
So, I hope this letter does that for you.