Change in Christmas

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. and everyone has urst into song yet i cant quite seem to sing along and all i can think is something must be wrong. I'm not exicted for this holiday season and no matter how much i search for the spirt i seem to come up empty-handed. So much has changed since I was young. We use to gather and have a huge celebration but now I'm missing out on the exhilaration. Fighting use to happen but it was part of the season. Everyone one gets on edge but it no reason to end our traditions. Christmas was my constent and now it is gone. I cant even listen to the songs.