Turning Point

it’s like something in me snapped,

i stopped letting myself feel sad

the sadness boiled over, and the only residue it left was a trace of anger

i think it stopped when i finally realized that i was holding on to something that would never work

i weeped and mourned for half a year,

i cried over you for the same length we were together

i looked pathetic,

and it made me angry

i took a deeper look into what i once praised at my feet

i looked deeper into you

the relationship we had wasn’t perfect,

and even i knew that

but it was the best thing i had ever known

i polished your name like it was silver,

i talked you up like you were God

i was oblivious

there were patterns, signs, and traits that i miss looked,

you were never as glorious as i made you out to be

you secluded me, but made me feel like i was too much for you

you used me

everything we did was on your terms,

if you didn’t want it then it wasn’t going to happen

you made me feel as though you cared,

and maybe you really did

your heart was jaded,

there’s not a chance you loved me the way that you said you did

but i believed you

i won’t lie and say that i don’t get jealous, i do

but knowing that you sit there and you do it on purpose aggravates me

i don’t want to be with you anymore

it worries me because now i sit and from the outside,

i’m scared of you

you make me feel weak, powerless

i feel like you could hurt me

the capability keeps me in the shadows,

my lurking has seemed to cease

i’m better on my own

i’m happy being me