Funny, I was just thinking about this today. I was lying on my, with 20 lbs of baby cradled between my theighs and my chin, and my hand was burning. the lid had fallen off the kettle as I poured, and basted my thumb and fingers in scalding steam. It hurt in a screaming, high pitched way, almost like the sound of the kettle itself.
But as I lay and felt, it seemed such a basic, simple, innocent pain. So easy to accept. Perhaps, as I am a tea fanatic, and careless as well, and so I have burned myself with boiling water to the 2nd degree many times in my life, it feels like an everyday pain. Perhaps familiarity makes it less intense.
However, I dont think this is the case with emotional pain. And maybe that is why it feels so much worse.
I thought, as I lay there, and for the first time, that I could see why they call it emotional pain. I've never thought about it as pain exactly in the literal sense before, as it isn't the kind of pain the arrives from a stubed toe, a burn, or even a headache.
But emotional pain is pain, in actual a rather simalar wat. It is a physical sensation, that the mind tells the body it won't survive. And like physical pain, it is the trying to get away that brings the level of misery up to unbearable.
Emotional pain is worse. But then I guess, having struggled with deppression, I've lived with chronic emotional pain for so many years, whereas I've only lived with physical chronic pain for a year or so at a time, following an injury.
With Physical pain, you know what to expect.
Emotional pain is invisible. It's unexplicable. It's unexplainable. Its unpredictable.
And it is sneaky. Its shameful. It has no proportion or scale, it can be bigger that your body, it can appear eternal.