The book Meeting at the Crossroads, by Lyn Brown and Carol Gilligan, talks about the development of girls and gender roles. In it, the authors suggest that girls learn to have relationships by sacrificing their relationship with their true selves, and thus, lose their voice. Girls, do you hold things in to keep a friendship? Are men able to have more honest relationships with their friends? What do you think about Gilligan and Brown's theory?

Voice In Hiding

I have never lost my voice, permanently, in the show of life.

I believe that even when the curtain falls on my performance, I shall continue speaking, whispering away, coming back onstage to give soliloquies for eternity.

I can say that I don’t have a clear sense of self, so whatever connection I had with my “true self” had been lost long, long ago, maybe even before I was born.

Of course I hold things in to keep a friendship. Nobody reveals every single thing to their friends, no matter how good they are.

The ancient Chinese prince, Hanfeizi, said, “It is dangerous for a ruler to trust others. He who trusts can be manipulated by others.”

I have stood by that since I have been able to understand the world.

Men have evolved from creatures that fought for almost every aspect of life, from fighting wolves for a caribou herd to fighting other males for the prime wife.

Young girls mostly talk and chat and make things to vie for friendship while boy interact mostly physically, even if they’re pressured to do so.

Therefore, girls have more chances to reveal things about themselves that they’d rather not share, while boys don’t share much when play-fighting and talking about sports teams.

About Gilligan and Brown’s theory, I’m not sure about the “sense of self”. But I can clearly say that my voice is completely heard and everyone listens to me well. (Most people, anyways.) Girls do hold things in to keep a friendship, but everyone does. (Well, everyone I’ve had the pleasure or displeasure to meet, anyways.)

And since I can’t really end this well, I’ll just end with a “goodbye”.

Goodbye.

(And thank you for reading this, too.)