on not being in love

you know how it feels to drive at night? how the

houses seem to change to shadows,

and, devoid of their daylight vibrance, they shift

in unfamilar circles around you?

think of all the places you've been. all the miles you've walked

filled with the sun, feeling one way

for one person all of the time, everywhere. and then

in the blink of an eye-- or, rather, over months of

distance and what your friends call growth,

it all begins to look different. but why?

you are lost in a crowd; you do not look for him

you are listening to music;; you feel far from him

you are writing;;; but not about him, now

you feel

less than

whole

& then you choose to let the sun back in,

through a different window. or you

learn to conjure it within, all by yourself.

but you cannot shake the feeling that something has changed.

that without him, there is a piece of the puzzle

you lost along the way; a piece of yourself

eternally stuck between couch cushions

and impossible to find.