Aliens
Everything… is too… BRIGHT.
Rolling over, I coughed and shielded my face from the sun. Slowly, my mind woke up, alerting of everything wrong. Body… is on fire? I felt like an ant trapped under a looking glass. Groggily, I imagined smoke curling off of my corpse; the thought making me frown.
As for my head… if it hadn’t exploded yet, it would shortly. Second to that discomfort, my ankle throbbed, feeling crusty and wet.
With a grunt, I pushed himself upright and immediately regretted. Nausea, vertigo, and a fresh wave of headache graced me with their presence. Ouch. I tried opening my eyes – failed - rubbed the grit out, then forced the stubborn buggers open. The world seemed to spin. From what I could tell, I sat in the desert, clothed in pajama briefs, with my foot impaled on a cactus.
Besides the one currently accosting me, tall, unfriendly-looking cacti pointed their arms toward the scorching sun above. The sky shone a perfect blue, without a wisp of cloud cover. Dirt and sand spread in shallow hills as far as the eye could see. Far as my delirious, half-blind eyes could see, anyways.
So I sat. Still frowning. Head throbbing. Ankle bleeding.
All with no idea of how I had gotten to be in such an unfortunate state.
Cursing softly, I bent and yanked the foot free. A fresh line of blood traced its way down the reddened skin. Standing with difficulty, I thought, How did I get here? Last I recalled, I had tucked my happy self into bed, held the blankets snugly, and drifted off to slumber. In my apartment. In New York.
New York did not have a desert.
I stood in the desert.
Also, I felt wasted.
And sweaty… ew…
Groaning, I buried my face in my hands, realizing my dire situation. I was unwell, parched, sun-scorched, disoriented - and, quite frankly, scared.
Releasing my face with a sigh, I faced the unfamiliar territory. Time to investigate. As I walked and calmed, reason and wellness slowly returned. Walking always helped to clear my head. Rather, not in the desert, and not with a limp. I miss the feel of the cool green grass at the park.
Unlike my family - who spent their days posting selfies in exotic locations on the planet – I preferred my own stomping grounds. Never before had I struggled through such a hot climate. It sucked.
Oddly, no footsteps led to where I had woken. Just the shallow imprint of my body, where I had unconsciously been getting a serious tan. No tire tracks, hoof prints, anything. Merely stiff, spiky brush and a lizard that kept a wary eye on my movements.
As I circled further and further out, my thoughts spun, as well. How had this happened?
I wasn’t an irresponsible person. Sure, maybe I emptied a few too many bottles on occasion, but not last night – and never in a situation to result in… this. Far as I could remember, I hadn’t caused trouble for any rough crowds. Could it be a prank? No, I dismissed the thought, that would be insane.
It made no sense.
Should I wait for help? A quick glance around asserted that no help would be arriving soon.
Options: stay and turn to toast – or go look for water, people, help, shade, anything. I chose go. Picking a distant rock formation as a landmark – a spy novel taught me that trick - I set onward.
As the midday sun, (just my luck, the hottest portion of the day), continued to scorch my bare torso and face, true misery set in. The ankle had stopped bleeding, thank goodness, but still stung. I worried about infection. Totally parched, my breaths wheezed, hyperventilation seemed only an intake away.
Small cacti pierced my feet as I trudged along. I took it as another thing to frown at. Angry, I looked upwards and frowned my disapproval at the sun, as well. When the UV rays became too much, I sat behind the short shadow of a boulder and began to pick the spikes from my foot. Quickly, my fingers became encrusted in red. Again, I frowned.
Such a frequent thing for today.
Standing again took great effort.
As I walked, sand stuck to my feet, spiking painfully into the wound. More and more, I found myself resting, finding shade where I could. Dehydration wore on – by far the worst affliction.
Did my eyes play tricks on me, or had the sun seemed to flicker? The dirt warp and wiggle? I blinked confusedly. So hot out here… felt so heavy…
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“Xec.”
“Yes, Captain?”
“YOU IMBECILE.”
Xec flinched, already dreading the captain’s wrath as he stood to attention. What had he messed up now?
“You,” the captain seethed, pacing the space between them, “deposited the patient in Mexico.”
Xec gulped. “Is that an issue, Sir-”
“IS THAT AN ISSUE?” He spun to the controls and smashed several buttons, bringing up the image of a human. It had face-planted in the desert biome, now basking in the evening sun.
With a wail, Captain covered his face, crying, “Look! You’ve killed it!”
Xec examined the screen apprehensively, saying, “He looks alright to me, Sir.”
Captain’s face flushed to an angry, dark shade of gray. With a few sputtered words, he stomped out of the control room – then immediately twisted around and spat, “Do you know how long we’ve been working on this patient? How many studies you’ve just nullified? Nothing to show for our work? Oh, if only you’d just stuck him back in New York!”
He hated when Captain got like this. Pretty soon, he’d be demoting him, only to reinstate him later.
“You’re demoted! I take away your rank! You have to clean the floors now!”
Well, it can’t get too much worse.
“And the toilets!”
Xec fell to his knees, stunned. Never before had he been so humbled. Through the corridor, Kix appeared, then slyly retreated. No doubt Kix would gossip to the whole crew… The shame, the shame...
Trying to collect himself, he asked, “Captain, oh gracious Captain, please, I beg you, not that-”
“SHADDUP. I have nothing more to say to you.” Sneering, Captain stormed away, leaving Xec alone.
He fought back tears. Today was the worst day. Ever. Sniffling, he fell into the pilot’s chair and gazed morosely at the screen. The sun had begun to set and the human’s red body cast a faint shadow. As the minutes passed, the more certain Xec became of the human’s decease. Especially when the wildlife appeared, tearing into it and spreading it around. The human’s expression definitely seemed unhappy.
What a fool I am…
Drying his eye, Xec left to go clean bathrooms or something.