What I can see

At least once a day, I see my own face in the mirror. Whether it be a glint of it on the blacked-out screen of my smartphone, or in the camera where I pose for a selfie with my friends. Sometimes, I go searching for a mirror - pretending I need to use the toilet when all I really need to use is the mirror.

But all those times, I see myself looking for imperfections. A wisp of hair in the wrong place. Wrinkles on the corners of my eyes. Smeared eyeliner outlining my dark circles. I smooth out my hair and apply eye cream to the end of my eyes. I wipe away the excess makeup, dab on some foundation to cover my dark circles, and sigh. I look for what others would see when they look at me and try to make it so that they only see what I want them to see.

Today, I'm looking at not what others can see but what I can see. That rebellious lock of hair I inherited from my mother reminds me that I am part of a loving family. My crow’s feet show a spirit in me that loves to laugh. The subtle makeup contrasted with the not quite covered dark circles from laboring over my report last night tells that not only do I want to look my best, but I want to be the best I can be. Today, I look into the mirror and see not what is to be fixed, but why it is a part of who I am.

I smooth my hair, fix my makeup and smile, realizing something I forgot for a long time.

I love the way I look.