I Forgot

I didn't realize

the last time we spoke would be

the last time I'd ever hear your voice.

If I'd known, I would've kept the conversation going

from the night into the early morning

listening to each heaving sigh and each melodic laugh

embedding them into my memory

so even if you left, your face would never leave me.

I didn't realize you'd stop loving me

or else I would've poured out every drop of my heart

that beat only for you

I would've held tight and never let go

kissing you breathless and leaving you wanting more

so I'd know that I still existed

somewhere in your heart.

In your rush to leave me

I forgot to tell you what you meant.

That your PTSD had shaped me

into the perfect caretaker

and I knew you better

than your closest family.

I forgot to say that I'm sorry

for all the stupid arguments over

pointless things that had no real meaning

and if I could take them back I would.

I would say how lucky I felt

when I was loved by you,

and how every day I'd break out into song,

a permanent smile on my face,

knowing that I was the girl you'd chosen to spend

your life with.

I forgot to tell you that I loved you, too.