Love

They say you must love your self before you set your eyes on someone else

You are supposed to be your own first love

Well I was an exception, an error

I found myself seeking value in another man’s eyes

Because maybe, I just needed a little help

But when that help came, I craved an infinity of his words

Til I had to beg for him to shower me in the rare circumstance of a compliment

I already hated the way my face was structured

I already hated the way I could not control who I was

Now my codependancy had made it worse

I felt myself falling

Years of neglect from the world around me

The person I held closest to my heart now did the same

And I did not know when I’d reach rock bottom

I floated for years

At times unknowing of the damage, because I could not distinguish his faults from mine

He spat hate and disapproval into the well of no end

And when a quadrennial almost came to pass

I knew I’d landed

But within the arms of family