Department Fiasco

Walking around the store

You see the dress you want

You love

You desire

But

It’s a fucking size

Too small

You sigh

You didn’t have

The money anyway

But it’s so cute

You continue

Through the store

But you can’t escape

From the clutches

Of that outfit

It was everything

It was you

And you make

The terrible decision

To take it

To try it on

Ignoring the little voice in your head

Dumbass

You give in

You slip it over your head

And it’s tight

Just as you expected

But it’s so cute

And just so you

And you can’t say no

That bill that’s due in a few days

Will just have to wait

This could work

But now comes the hardest part

Parting with the dress

No, of course you’re going to buy it

But you have to get it off

In order to pay for it

You didn’t think about that

Did you?

There’s two ways

That this plays out in the movies

A mother helping her child

In a heartwarming scene

As she slips the shirt off the child

Readying him for bed

A sweet bonding moment

As she whispers

I’ll always be here for you

The other

A sexy frame in time

As you give in

Allowing him to see you

In the moonlight for the first time

Revealing your naked beauty

Because for some reason

Women in these movies

Don’t wear a bra

And you can’t tell…

He leans in for a kiss

And it warms your everything

Sadly,

You’re in neither of these situations

You’re alone

In a dressing room

Because you never

Really liked the idea of shopping

With other people

Let alone shopping at all

You can’t call for help

Because that’d be embarrassing

You should have never

Tried on the damn dress in the first place

I told you that

So you begin the

Tumultuous journey

Of wriggling out of it

And it’s over your head

Your hands stretched out

Almost there…

There’s a knock on the door

And you’re terrified

Stuck in one of the most

Compromising positions you’ve been in

Since your mother caught you

With your boyfriend at 16

Are you alright in there??

How are you supposed to

Answer that question?

You mumble a soft yes

Through the cloth of the one dress

That warmed your heart

Moments before

It’s the same feeling

You get when the waiter

Asks how your food is

While you’re still chewing

And it’s off

Finally.

You’re never going to do that again

Well… at least until next time

And before you ask,

No, I’m not sure why’d you think

I’ve ever been in that situation