Conflicting Love

I don’t want my heart to be yours.

I don’t want to be controlled by you.

I don’t want you to own me.

I don’t owe you anything.

I want to go back to being me.

I was me before you came into my life

And decided everything was going to go

According to your plan.

My life isn’t mine anymore.

I have to share it with you.

I have to run everything by you.

I can no longer be crazy and impulsive.

I can no longer be me

Because you don’t like the real me.

Has it ever crossed your mind

That I never asked for you to be in my life?

I never wanted you here.

I love to hate you

But I can’t deny that I love you.

I can’t deny that I hang onto your every word.

I can’t deny that you always

Put a smile on my face.

I love to hate you.

I hate that I love you.

There is a thin line between love and hate

And my feelings for you go back and forth

More than I would like to admit.

What would it take for me to let go?

What would it take for you to disappear

And leave me to pick up the broken pieces?

I don’t know if I’ll ever be free of you.

Sometimes I don’t know if I want to leave.

Sometimes I don’t know what I would do

If you were no longer in my life.

But then there are times

When I wish you would go

And allow me to live the rest of my life

Without you.