suckingly sad

I’m going to manufacture some happiness today,

when the sun is too loud, the people too suckingly sad.

My heating beating heart will drown it all out

in a yellow kind of wonder.

I’ll writher tonight in my heart’s expectations,

drowning in dreamy smiles, cooled in silky sheets

produced by

the imagination of yours truly.

I’ll be my own best friend today,

my thoughts detaching from my person,

to form a faceless fearless confident.

Today, again, I’ll love myself,

the love I try to share has come hurtling back,

through the dirty night air towards my unarmored chest.

I get smacked with it, hard, and my feet lift off the grass,

the backwards motion thrusting me into the embracing ground.

It’s an old story,

to love someone who doesn’t love you back.

An unoriginal story for an unoriginal person,

who has to love them-self again

tonight.