Kintsukuroi (or, Beyond Repair)

I could not have been more careful when I

Opened up the box

Tenderly smoothing away the wrappings

That should have protected you

But

You were already shattered

Long before you arrived

At my doorstep

A perfect heart

Fragmented by careless handling

And the cruel spite

Of strangers who cared nothing

For the perfect beauty inside

I told you it would be okay

Everything is fixable

And you deserved to be restored

To something greater than perfection

Though the fragments

Were so small

Many worn down

To dust

I sold everything

Trading what no longer mattered

For pure liquid gold

The best for you

My love

To fill the cracks

So you could be wholer

Stronger

Lovelier

More perfect than you could

Possibly hope

Because

To me

You were always a greater masterpiece

Than anyone knew

Especially you

I surveyed what I'd done

It had happened before I could realize

Suddenly

You were more gold than heart

There weren't enough pieces

And I had inhaled the fine dust

Left behind

Everything is fixable

I would not admit otherwise

I poured so much gold

To replace missing fragments

That I could not see you

Anymore

I don't know when you left

My love

My everything

But now all I have

Is molten gold

All over my hands

And I can't breathe

Because my airways are clogged

With the remains of you

And there's liquid gold

Everywhere

I never realized

Until just this moment

How ugly and useless

Gold actually is