One of Them Died That Night

"Do you want to be a kind person and lock the door for me?"

"No, I don't really want to be a kind person."

"Okay, can you do it anyway?"

"Do what?"

"lock the door."

"Is that an order?"

"Can you lock the door on my way out!?"

"I am physically capable of such a task, yes."

"For heaven's sake, would you just lock the door!"

"I don't see how heaven would benefit from me turning a latch on-"

"Jeezus kuraist."

"My name's not Jeezus, it's Ven"

-sobbing noises-

"What's wrong?"

"You won't lock the door for meeee~"

"You didn't ask me to."

"VEN! MAY YOU PLEASE, MOVE YOUR DERRIÈRE OFF THE COUCH, FOLLOW ME TO THE DOOR, AND TURN THE LITTLE GOLDEN LATCH INTO ITS DOOR-FRAME SOCKET ONCE I STEP OUT OF THE HOUSE!?"

"There's no need to yell."

-footstep noises-

-door opening-

-door closing-

-silence-

-DOOR OPENS VIOLENTLY-

"VEN WHY HAVE YOU NOT LOCKED THE DOOR YET!!!!!"

"I got confused."

"HOW!? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY GET CONFUSED AT THIS POINT!?!"

"You said to turn the little golden latch."

"Yes! the golden latch rriiiggghhtttt there!"

"But that's more of a sunset bronze, we don't have a golden latch."

(ಠ___ಠ)