better

To get better

is to get diagnosed. 

to get better 

is to see tree trunks and not see all the lines that bent in to who they are

to get better

is to believe that a tree is alive in the same way you are 

and that your lines are growth lines too

To get better

is to open doors and not be afraid of something hiding behind them

to get better 

is to look at sunrises and be ready to go to sleep

to get better

is to get worse. 

There is no getting better

without pushing past bad

into territory yet unknown by the greatest explorers

and to come back

and say that you've seen it all

to get better 

is to look down at the floor and see a pattern you've never seen before and realize that you've seen nothing

that the whole world is people getting

getting sick, getting angry, getting pregnant, getting happy

and maybe getting better isn't so much the goal but something you've been doing this whole time.  

and then you'll fall back into atrocities

and it will be ok

because this time it will be just as bad

and this time you will continue to see what you thought were the songs that taped your heart back together but are really just sound waves, flowing out into nothing,

and you will realize you know nothing

and it will be beautiful.