Lost in the depths of the ocean

The best thrill in life is the risk to lose, followed by the euphoria of winning. 

I know this, because I chased that feeling with you. 

The smooth silk of your words, & your eyes ocean blue: 

These were the first things that entered my stream of consciousness, & locked me in. 

Little did I know how far out to sea you would drag me, but even when I was, I didn't care. 

Everyone has a different idea of love

But what you & I both, knew, both know,

Is that love is not fire. 

You can't "keep" the "spark." 

A real desire, like the one you give, 

Comes & goes like the tide-

Soft, soothing, gentle:

The whisper & mist 

Of it's essence, pure bliss.

Whether it's a secret, shared moment, 

When you pull me in with your eyes, 

Like a droplet of rain, 

or you wash over me, 

Taking full reign, I am fully, & completely yours.

You made it this way- 

The endless times you slivered 

Those tactful words in my ear

To keep me near you, 

even in my dreams, right before I drifted away. 

And then, you can pull me in, 

Slowly, more forcefully, more violent when you want your way

Making me feel your aggression, 

Reminding me whose I am, at the end of the day. 

Love is not starlight & sunshine. 

In my moments, with you, 

I learned is real, raw. & true.

The closest analogy, is water. 

Aside from God, 

You are the closest thing to bringing me life. 

And most times, you are gentle

Mild, nourishing as a massaging wave over my soul. 

When I immerse myself in you, 

You quench every single fantasy & desire...

Even the realms I knew not were inside me. 

But just like the ocean, 

From a distance, 

I couldn't see your depth. 

I had no idea the gentle pull, could lure me so far.

From everything I would need, & everything I know;

with nothing to sustain me, 

In a storm I am reduced to survival mode.

Thrown around 

Pulled down

Sharks & dangerous creatures abound, ready to zero in.

Until I'm too deep, in the darkness-

Unable to breathe,

Silenced. 

Slowly descending...

Yet, somehow, 

I see a light-LIFE, in that darkness.

Light, from you. 

An ability to exist-to adapt.

My soul changed,

And I somehow find-

Peace.

In this new world.

Knowing the creatures are close 

The ocean is vast, 

But you'll protect me 

Your love, engulfing me.

I'll stay in this dark, 

illuminated world, 

because you give me life- 

better than never having been thrilled.