An Average Friday Night

I didn't goddamn wanna die, okay. I didn't. Everyone's going around, saying that "oh, it was all his fault he went and jumped off that cliff." But lemme tell you, it wasn't my fault, and I didn't wanna bloody go cannonball off a rock face wall and into the big blue sea. I'm sure now you're thinking, "Well, then, Carl, what really did happen?"

So you know crazy fangirls? Like, the kind that drools over every step her favorite celebrity takes? That kind. Well, I had one of those. And some shit happened. And uh, well, I'm sorta dead. Sorta.