Insecure

"You have gotten fat."

Four words so simple,

Yet enough to bring out

My fake smile and say

"Thanks"

"You are eating well, I see"

They laugh.

They don't know I haven't eaten

Properly for days.

They haven't heard the sounds

Of me lurching out

The food I took in.

They don't know

How I cry seeing myself

In the mirror.

"Ah, I look great."

I think.

"Ew..you look fat.

Change immediately."

They say.

A piece of me broke,

As it always does.

Maybe I am fat.

Why does it matter

To you stranger?

Why are you staring?

Why am I not allowed

To be as myself?

Weren't you the one

Who told not to care what

Others think?

Then why are you

Making me care,

Even though I don't.

And I don't

Care, I mean.

I don't care what

They think.

But you,

You make me

Feel insecure,

All over again.

And I don't like it.

I don't like that

Even one bit.