Some Advice

What we want

and what we need

are two separate beasts;

She's not going to need

An I'm Sorry

or some condolences

or a monologue

on "how great of a person"

her mom was.

(Too often, People like

to fill the silence

with self important speeches).

She won't need you to speak.

She'll need you to listen,

to tell her yes, this fucking sucks

and it's okay to cry

and to scream and to rage

because this hurts

And maybe it will

for a long time,

these feelings are real

and genuine

and they mean something

because she loved fiercely

with all her heart

(It's okay to fall apart)

but eventually

she's going to need

to glue those pieces back

(maybe not quite the same)

and this is the hard part

because she's not

going to want to.

She's going to need you

to get her out of bed and go

to that favorite record store

Or to force her

into that dress she loved before

She's going to need someone

to tell her it's okay

not to drown herself in misery

it's okay to laugh again

it's okay to smile

to go out and be happy

for a little while.

it's okay to be sad too.

Stand by her,

in whatever she'll do

because it'll be hard sometimes

she'll be angry at the world

and take it out on you

Endure it for her -

I promise she loves you

she just feels alone

and needs the reassurance

you'll stay by her side

whatever the weather;

high or low tide.

there will be bumps

and bruises

and sometimes

you'll say the wrong thing

and her anger will hurt

her aloofness will sting.

it'll be a long road

but try,

continue to try

and I promise together

you'll get by.