Craigslist??...Really??

People like you sicken me.

You hide behind your computer screen, living a life of empty words and anonymous fantasies. I can't tell you how many online ads like this I come across.

But today's your lucky day. And I'll tell you why.

Yesterday I was fired. The prick I worked for told me I spend too much time "perusing the web." And I "creep out my co-workers." And I'm "too smart for my own good."

So, you wanna knock off your girlfriend? And you're willing to pay good money? 

Well, great news! I have a lot of free time on my hands, and I could really use the money.

So respond back to this email with all the details I need ASAP. If I don't hear back from you within 24 hours, we will have our first meeting face-to-face. I know your IP address, and trust me, I know even more. 

Have a pleasant evening, Dave.