All right, friends! I don't have a lot of time to write these days, so instead I'd like to read... Please, dears, write me something incredibly sexy. I want it raunchy but CLASSY, steamy but not pornographic, and without the use of the words cock, cunt, clit, dick, pussy, snazz, twat, quinny, beaver, cum, skeet, jizpie hole, donut driver, potty plunger, etc., etc. So please, make my toes curl with excitement before I hand it over to my conservative yet sassy 83-year-old grandmother. I'd like to see her giggle and blush, but not scream in terror. Have fun!

Sexy as...

She walked into the room and discovered that he was doing the dishes.

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An excerpt from an article on sexiness by Janice Holly Booth: "For men who are looking to increase their sexual activity, it isn’t getting in shape or becoming a better conversationalist that offers the greatest likelihood for more lovemaking; it’s—astonishingly—marriage and household chores. Psychologist and couples expert John Gottman, Ph.D., has studied the effect of shared housework on a couple’s sexual frequency. When men contribute to housework and child care, Gottman observed, their partners see them as sexy, and they reap the benefits of that by having more sex than couples in which the men are chore-free."

That's what I'm talking about. Yessssssss.