Freedom

What causes me to see myself scattered across this glass pane

Beholder witnessing its own begotten thoughts

Fleeting in this state

I reflect on my own experience

How my parents would look away

When we began to water ourselves with each blink

Who wants to look into the mirror of your own mistakes

Me, however

I was a hostage of my blunders

As my tears write a story down my cheek

The words, the description,

Is there a way I can say this -

To feel the tight grip of anguish so strong

That you feel the lash whip across your chest,

Your mind swirls with the strong gust of anger, rage

Is it simply a self-victimization on a dreary day,

That my soul evokes

As a cruel way to comfort myself?

Is it a way to manifest a company to my solitude,

Conjure a feeling so intense

That it could be another presence in the room?

My younger days beseech a navigator for this life

The world’s current is too strong

And I was never a good swimmer

So I go with the flow

Else I’ll drown in these thoughts

Instead of fighting life’s waves

I ride them

At first all the turbulence and changes

In the once calm and visible for miles water,

It was so dizzying it made me sick

The waves obstructed my path

My nature was to go against the current

But things got easier

When I let the current take me

Accept that I would zig and zag

This was a storm after all

It won’t be an easy current

But in the end

I start to enjoy all the turns

It made the journey more exciting

I no longer fear change

I no longer look over my shoulder

At the calm water behind my waves

I make my own waves now