Tyla why do you write ?

many people write just as a passion or as a career 

I write as a way to alleviate the pain

I write because it forces me to deal with what I feel 

to talk and to convey my emotion into words 

so That I can stop taking out my pain on myself 

so I can be a better person

I write because it causes me to escape into whatever reality I wish to live in 

I often write from a dark perspective and about my relationships because It is  easy for me to write about that, than write about my battle with mental illness 

because I fear being seen as crazy 

also I have alaways been insecure and writing gives me confidence and power

The pen becomes my knife and I can stab my pain into my paper not my skin 

I began writing in second grade , I took up writing because I was severely bullied and then I stopped for awhile then I picked it up again after I lost my best friend kary 

then I reached middle school constant bullying and other crap that I will not ever write about or tell you and then high school again bullying and past things rising in my chest and causing me to pick up the pen again and write 

writing is my therapy. Ever since then I have never stopped writng I am always writing 

But I came here so I could stop hiding my poems in the cracks of mattress so my family wouldn´t find them they don´t want to write they say it´s a waste of time 

also they would throw away my notebooks

so I would write my poems and dig a hole in the ground in my backyard and stuff them there also many times I would write a poem or a story and flush it down the toilet or throw in the field in the back of the house fearing they would read my stuff 

when I say I write to not feel sad I mean that 

I am screaming in my writes alaways because I am fighting with trying to keep all the craziness in and not telling people everything I deal with because I hate sympathy I don´t want sympathy I want to be understood 

I am strong woman 

not pathetic 

because I have a weak heart 

so don´t think you can fuck with my emotions and get away with it