What does being pretty feel like?

i think it would feel like 

being angels, like everyone 

always smiling when they see you.

drama, a lot of drama. 

it actually feels like being the devil. 

like everyone hurting because of you. 

breaking boys’ hearts without meaning to. 

it’s not our fault; we can’t love everybody.

i think being pretty 

would mean a lot less hurting. 

laughing without worrying you look stupid. 

enjoying people’s eyes on you, 

rather than shying away 

from any gaze.

and i don’t even like who i am. 

i’m tired of seeing my face in the mirror, 

wondering if i’m as good as anybody says. 

or if i’ll ever live up to the package. 

wondering what people see; 

they’re always looking at me.

i think being pretty 

would mean waking up happy, 

thinking the day would bring good things. 

always having an easy time shopping.

i’m tired. it always feels like everyone’s 

expecting something from you. 

to look good, to be good. 

i just want room 

to be myself. everyone knows 

bright lights can be unflattering. 

for once, i would like to be neglected.

i would like to be pretty like other girls.

i want to be special.

they don’t know what they’re asking for.

no one knows what it’s like.

i want to be happy.

i just want to be.