Loss of Innocence

Dying Innocence

I'm frantically looking

    but can't seem to find

That child within me,

    she just wants to hide

Horrors and fears and

    monsters and tears

It's really no wonder

    she rarely appears

It's a not - so - fun game

    of sick hide - n - seek

When I do find her

    she seems more and more weak

I know she is dying,

    I feel it at core

I've tried so many cures,

    even tried the sea shore

I miss her laughter,

    her fresh look at life

I miss her sparkle

    before the cruel knife

She is my favorite

    version of me

The one that is dying

    every day endlessly

I do all that I can

    to stave off her death

After all, she is a child

    so precious her breath

It started so early,

    doomed right from birth

When cancerous voices told

    how little her worth

She has lived through the pain

    of an abusive mom

She has fought through depression

    that lasts all year long

Her hopeful eyes have

    stayed open wide

When men who have claimed love

    have shown their dark side

Rejection and failure,

    she's familiar with that

The other day in her arms

    lay her dying cat

I try every day to see

    life through her eyes

That those eyes are closing

    is not a surprise

She has fought hard,

    valiant, and strong

She shouldn't have to die,

    it just feels so wrong

But that is the nature

    of her precious breed

Innocence dies no matter

    how strong the seed.

.....

This second poem was posted here not long ago...

.....

Innocent

I am innocent

    I'm only two

        I can't even tie my shoe

I've been beaten black and blue

But I am innocent at only two

I am innocent

    I just turned five

        I'm really lucky to be alive

Very familiar with the knives

But I am innocent at barely five

I am innocent

    I am eight

        I learned how to masturbate

The boy next door

So he'd open the door

I am innocent at only eight

I am innocent

    I'm just eleven

         I can take my uncle to heaven

He's been teaching me since I was seven

I am innocent at just eleven

I am innocent

    I am sixteen

         I want to be a beauty queen

I always vomit my meals in between

I am innocent at sixteen

I am innocent

    I'm twenty three

        Hooked on meth and can't break free

Into the future I no longer see

I am innocent at twenty three

I am not innocent

    Not anymore

         I've never felt any love before

Everyone opens then slams the door

I am not innocent anymore

(The second poem, Innocent, is one I have previously posted, so I hope it's okay that I used it for this challenge. It fit so well. It was a bit hard to reach the 500 word minimum, I must admit, which was making me crazy because I had just written that poem not long ago! So, hoping it doesn't disqualify me..)