Spotlight on Innocence
When I tell you the story of my loss of innocence, you will probably roll on the floor laughing but it wasn’t funny at the time.
I was 16 when my friend’s older brother first asked me out. I was at a slumber party at my friend’s house when he dropped by with a friend. As I pranced about in my pajamas, I felt exhilarated in my half-clothed freedom! Home from college, he swaggered into my life, the man about town!
For the first few months, we had a sweet, burgeoning relationship but finally, we had gotten to the point where we were out of our minds with a need to end the sexless torture! Our glands were doing little dances as we took the next step. I automatically assumed he would be experienced so allowed him to lead the way. It was true that I was not his first, but he really bumbled and fumbled as he undressed me in the back seat of his car which was tucked safely inside an orange grove where we thought we wouldn’t be seen. What happened next was hot and heavy, glorious and forbidden. Since this was my first time, I really did not know how mind bending it would be as I was swirled into the vortex of all things sinful, with the full regalia of fireworks and marching bands, when the unthinkable happened!
All of a sudden, we were spotlighted in a very bright light through the window like two very embarrassed deer in the headlights! Imagine a shy, inexperienced teenager, legs over her boyfriend’s shoulders, exposing all her assets to some unknown stranger. It was if we were on stage in a production that we thought would never end! Hastily, we grabbed our scattered underwear off the floor and tried to scramble back into our clothes. I was horrified to find out that the flashlight was in the hands of a menacing police officer.
“Where do you live?” he demanded, “And what are the names of your parents?”
I was very young looking for my age so he probably thought I was younger that I was. My parents lived only 4 blocks from the orange grove. I was trembling so hard that I could hardly answer him.
“I’m going to let your parents know what you’re up to!” threatened the sadistic officer, before he left us half dressed in the front seat of the car and drove off.
I dreaded going home. We both procrastinated for an hour before heading home, scared to death to face my strict parents. My ‘brave’ boyfriend dropped me off in the driveway, and then spun off quickly when we saw the silhouette of my two parents on the brightly lit front porch.
I was shaking so hard in trepidation that I could hardly walk up the driveway. I walked quaking with fear into the house where my parents asked me, “Did you have a good time, tonight?” Was the jig up, I wondered, as I turned beet red? Were they being acidly sarcastic? Did they know?
The threat of the policeman was just that – a threat. He never told my parents. Why on earth would he ever want to scare a young couple like this? He must have gotten his thrills this way in his dull, mundane life. All I know is that he scarred my life forever! Well, I admit I am being a little dramatic and the cat (sex) was now out of the bag and I didn’t want to stuff it back in!
By the way, I married my first boyfriend but I should have listened to my intuition. Never marry a boyfriend who will leave you in the dust at the end of the driveway when he spots the ‘porch parents’ in the glaring light waiting up for their daughter. He is now a distant memory.
I can’t say I regretted the whole sex before marriage thing but I can say I was so swept up in the passion that I made a poor decision in my choice of my ex-husband. The loss of my innocence led me to a world that was ripe and raw and yes, exciting. I have never looked back!