Do you know what it’s like to feel completely worthless?
Nothing you do is good enough.
The world around you acts as though you don’t exist
And perhaps you shouldn’t.
You are only talked to when you are needed for something
Or in blamed and in trouble.
You can be replaced any moment at the drop of a hat.
All it takes is one text.
But she needs me, someone argues, I can’t just not be there.
Yeah, but what if I need you?
What if you are my rock who is keeping me from doing something stupid?
Do you even care?
I guess it doesn’t matter anymore because you don’t care.
I might as well see myself out.
Time ticks down for me. This is the last straw.
I’m simply doing this because it’s something you are supposed to do; a formality, I guess. At this point, I’m not sure anyone will actually miss me. I know I wasn’t anybody’s favorite, that much was obvious. I guess I worked well as a time passer. This has honestly been a long time coming.
Mum, dad, I am sorry. I suppose the good news is that I’m finally listening to you, Dad. I’m not going to be a teacher. I know you never wanted that for me. You two can stop pretending to be happy. The marriage can fall apart with little repercussions. I know you only stayed together for me.
To the rest of my family, I’m sorry that I never met your standards. I never measured up. I’m not as smart as my cousins or as pretty, a fact you made blatantly obvious every time I saw you.
To my “friends”, I’m sorry you’ll have to find a new time killer. You will have to find someone else who will listen to your problems.
In short, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was never good enough, but I guess that won’t matter anymore.