Ghost in the Glass

Preface:

Life is said to flash before one's eyes when dying; this I know is true.

Death flashes anew when waking to new life. My story begins in just such a way-- with a death, my own.

My Death:

I never would have believed it

My fiancé dressed as a doctor

A little game we used to play

No game this time

But a ruse

To trick me

To trap me

And doctor 

Played the fool

And I was indeed the fool

I took the pills

Thinking them mints

I drank the absinth

Thinking to God

What sweet, sweet poison

What cruel hilarity

That poison 

That death 

Could actually taste so sweet

And all the lovemaking

Swam to mind

As I drowned in a sea of treachery

And deceit

But my face 

Became fuzzy behind the glass mirror

Now through shattered shards

And death's veil

I peer

Curious

So curious

I see two beloved honeymooners

On a cherrywood bed

With lemon candles

And holly vines

This is my dream

And oh

Oh there is more

The dear

Sweet 

Snow 

White 

Petals

I could cry

But I am less than ice

Translucent

And in between

Unseen

Forgotten

No 

Replaced

And whose face should I see

But Filesha

Filesha

My sworn enemy

Oh that wicked sea goddess

With her wretched

Voluptuous curls

Spun from gold

Surely from Rumpelstiltskin himself

That cheat

I sigh

And the lovers never hear

How they move like music

How he caresses her

With the softest elegance

I never dared he possessed

Thimble to thread

Water to ice

rain to rainbow

But she is no rainbow

Oh the wickedness in that girl

Filesha

That spider

That spinster

Spinning webs of lies

Feigning feelings

And heart bursts

But really just a 

Twisted and talented 

Marionette puller

They kiss

In the soft, soft candle light

We would have had music

I think

Watching his kiss curls

Brush her pearl pink cheeks

I will give them music

I think

Hearing only the slightest

Pin prick of what ghost tears make

When the depths of despair

Pull out waterfalls 

From mere memories

But something is not right

And it's not my broken heart

That aches for its body

And a voice to sing its sorrow

It's Devan

He's dressed

The white coat

The pills

Filesha on the bed

Alone

Crying too

He reaches for the bottle

Transfixed I watch

I dare not know why

Or what is happening

So fast

So fast

The pills are in his hand

Oh his hand

That beautiful brown hand

So bronz

Electric

I remember his touch

He swallows them all

I scream

But wait, I can't scream

It's Filesha

No it's me

It's us

We run to him

Our movements synchronized

Our hatred overcome by love

For this man

For Devan

O'

Oh

Devan

Why

Why 

A mirror lies on the floor beside him

I catch Filesha's eye

She mine

I shake my head

I don't want to see

She grabs the mirror 

Angry

So angry

Look 

She screams

Look

And finally see

I look into the mirror 

And such a curious thing I see

I see Filesha's face

There is no longer a me

She holds the glass to her eye

And angles it once more

So that I can see

The girl in the glass is dead

The girl in the glass

Is me