Exposure is something I am comfortable with.
A nice, light level that allows me to adjust and adapt.
Something I can grow accustomed to, and learn to live with.
But lately the exposure has exceeded my comfort level.
It goes beyond my youth, beyond my former innocence.
Everything I had left to see has now been seen
Like a bucket list of grievances I had not wanted to unpack.
So now what curiosity is left in me?
I have seen the darkness and sadness that I always hesitantly craved.
And now I am left to live with it.
Should I celebrate the exposure?
Or grieve with the despair?
So many people dead, hurt, desperate, longing for answers.
Taking it all in, bearing witness to their worst days.
It takes adrenaline, it takes passion, it takes the life out of me
To save the lives of others.
Is this how I come to accept this?
Is this acceptance?
It is a difficult task to keep your mind at ease
When the world is speeding around you.
How does one take the time to concentrate
When it seems as if there is not a second to spare?
Anxiety is heightened and emotions are sporadic.
Demands are being dished out one after the other.
And the expectation is a fully-functioning system.
How do I even gain composure?
I’m a mental disaster and all I can see
Is a blur of what’s going on around me.
I don’t remember what I started
Or what I’ve been asked to complete.
Someone just called my name
But I can’t locate where the sound came from.
My humanity feels like it’s been shredded
And thrown into a hurricane
And politely handed back to me.
What do I do with this thing?
I’ve lost myself in the rush.
Peering deep into the ocean
Was like looking into a mirror.
He saw a wide-eyed boy staring back at him
Without fear of the future.
He was adventurous, daring, and proud.
He dreamed of being someone important one day,
Someone people would look up to and be inspired by.
After turning into a respectable man,
He would peer back into the ocean
And see the person he’d become,
Except he would not be alone.
He would be joined by his family,
His greatest accomplishment.
And this time,
He will be satisfied with the present
But fearful of what’s to come.
We all fall down
One way or another
We accept the challenge of life
The day we choose to breathe,
And we are the subjects of this life
Until the day that life is torn from our beings
Our humanity is all we have to embrace
It keeps us alive until we decide that it doesn’t
And on that day
We again unite,
Not in humanity,
But in the ashes left behind.
The darkness of the sky shattered one day
Due to the power of the sun.
The brightness of the sky shattered one night
Due to the power of the moon.
But the miracle was the in-between.
Some gave their last breaths,
While others took their first.
Some suffered cruel injustices,
While others watched behind the glass.
Events occurred that were beyond their control
And yet they remained victims of the abuse.
And fell silent when ordered to.
They watched the sun rise and fall day and day again
Until one day they took part in that rising.
Give me a taste of your bitterness;
I know there is more beneath the blade.
Open up to the world around you;
You do not have to live in shame.
Your persona reeks of black coffee
With no cream or sugar in sight.
Reveal your true self
With no fears and no doubts
And the sweetener itself will arise.
I remember her.
She floated by each passing day,
With an aura of peace and joy.
Her eyes were golden drops of honey
Even when the sun did not touch them.
She was a daunting creature
Filled with only beauty and kindness.
She shared her light with the world around her.
Until one day she didn’t.
Some say she died.
But most say that they witnessed her
Fall through the hole and into the sky
Like an angel in disguise.
The wall was not enough to hide his fears.
He wanted to conceal himself in plain sight.
In a city rustling with rage and excitement,
He sunk deep beneath the chatter.
Though no one dared speak his name,
Everyone knew of the shadow behind the glass.
His outline was broadcasted in the middle of the chaos,
Yet all he heard was silence.