There was something haunting in my bedroom. I couldn't see it but I knew it was there. Watching me when I sleep. Quietly hovering over me. There were times when I thought I spotted something, only to turn on the light and see nothing. "You don't belong here!" I would shout. But I knew no matter how loud I got it wouldn't matter. Nor how tough I would act. Finally one day it was there, plain as day, no hiding, and daring me face to face to prove my courage. And I couldn't. I called on Mike, who was a brave soul, to be brave enough to approach. He brought with him a white cloth for the dead body. Quickly, he squished it and flushed it down the toilet. My nightmare was over, for now...

You don't know me. I did not mean for it to end up this way. You think I don't hear what your judgmental eyes say. I played with the cards I was dealt and even though I felt it was a raw deal I didn't throw in my hand. And perhaps my gamble is what caused me to land here. Underneath your feet. But as I sit here with others you don't realize that they are your sisters and brothers. So I took all of their stories and my best penmanship and I wrote all of them out. Stories of leaving an abusive home in hopes to save themselves. Stories of serving this country and not being mentally prepared to fit back into it. Stories of feeling heartbreak that's so immense, a comfortable life just doesn't matter anymore. I took these 47 pages to a popular beach and stood on a pier rail, yelling about my own life until I saw all the telltale signs that this was live. Knowing they will catch something worth going viral. Little did they know it was not about my life, I began to read those lives aloud. Raising it up to the wind and letting go when their story was concluded, now they know what i know. After releasing the last page into the wind I looked into the crowd, and as I suspected they all looked at me but only through their screens. Except for one face. She didn't have a screen to look into and her look was like mine. I imagined because of this, someone in the city would extend an extra hand to her. The one hand she needed that her life didn't conclude the way mine was going to. A little less hurt. I smiled and she nodded. And I raised my arms and let myself fall into the waves. Although it was a beautiful day, the water was still cold. Cold enough to do its job. Because of my death, more people would hear about their lives. In my last thoughts, I knew it was worth it.

We once ran about like leaves in the wind, caring as much about where we go as the breeze. Who cared about decisions regarding the future. Our life was youthful and our time squandered. We took advantage of our health, but not of our love.

Till one day that wind was gone and we found ourselves planted in the grass and worrying about what our roots had clenched to. All those windy days had left us exactly that, winded. Physically and mentally sickened. We were regretful of our choices, but not of our love.

Today is where all roads lead. I feel that wind again, but i am unmoved. I am neither healthy nor sick, it is simply my time. I am dying, and I love you still.

Though I cannot describe in words the darkness of this place, I feel safe. A comfort made of love, a bed made from an act of passion. My experience can only be described as innocence, I know not day and night. Only heartbeat and the sounds of nourishment. I only know the touch of my own face in this dark comfortable place. But no matter my content, I know it is by grace this end. I am blessed with light on my skin and a new sensation of need. There was an abundance of love at my birth. I turn the watch back to the present, where life tells me that true content does not exist. Now to turn to the future, beyond my time on this earth, to find out for sure.

When a call comes in this late,Fear immediately sets in

I think how unprepared I amFor this nightmare to begin.

I debate whether to answer, do I even want to know?

Maybe someone is just in trouble,

Hopefully not about to go.

Wondering why you are not sleepwill now cause me to lose my own

It probably won't change by morning,

so I decide to answer the phone.

Hello...

She's admired daily,

by everyone there.

I was unknown,

but thought my chance fair.

Wanted her smile,

so I gave her a joke.

Described me as farcical,would rather have choked.

We picture a crumpled bundle in your sweaty fist,

Though you probably rarely touch cash.

With more than a enough to live but still picky with your charity list.

Thanks for that by the way, you hardly ever boast.

You scrape over the crumbs from your fulfilling bread loaf

And still have enough to show us on tv ads and social media posts.

Do you really work twenty times harder than the man who cleans the floor?

Your board members have determined this to be true.

People can't miss what they never had, but you could sure use a little more.

Does anyone notice that you always look tired and old?

Its addictive properties have you constantly in withdrawal even before going without,

So you can afford to live organically with skin products, literally, of gold.

Yet it doesn't help your soulless eyes, for you've given that up to him.

You weren't using it, but you could use this lifestyle to which you've grown accustomed.The day you can't take it with you, or maybe end of days, you'll worry about it then.

This perfect being.

Protected by all my strength.Forever my heart.