The Loose Cannon
People who know me well, can pick up that I LOVE to throw a cringe-worthy phrase into my conversations. Whether it be, “Oh sugar plums” or “When pigs fly” I find enjoyment in using cliché or overused phrases. During my AP Language and Composition class last year, we were given a merriment assignment as a diversion from practicing the AP exam's long essay questions. The project was to put overused phrases to bed and take them out of our writing. The requirements were to write an Eulogy about our chosen overused phrase, so I decided to pick “loose cannon.” The standard for the Eulogy was to speak about our beloved overused phrase, while also making the language absurd by using as many overused and cliched phrases as possible. The purpose of cramming these ridiculous phrases in one place was to purge them from our systems so these phrases would not end up in our responses to the AP exam’s long essay questions. Most students in the class found this assignment half-witted, however, I enjoyed every moment because I LOVE these corny phrases. Enough explaining, let’s remember our dear friend, the Loose Cannon.
In Memory: The Beloved, Yet Overused, Loose Cannon
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Say good-bye to Loose Cannon,
We bid you, “Adieu”.
I stand before all of you today, even those who are the flies on the wall, to crack open the can of worms and remember the life of our friend, Loose Cannon. If you have ever been associated with the “Loose Cannon”, it is a day to feel a sense of relief as you will no longer be mocked by the name, Loose Cannon. However, don’t count your chickens before they have hatched because there are still other fish in the sea, so I cannot guarantee you will not be called a Bull in a China Shop, a Kid in the Candy Store, or a Hot Mess, however, I promise you will no longer be the Loose Cannon because the phrase is being put out to pasture. No need to throw anyone under the bus because it is what it is. Those who used “loose cannon” as their only insult or comeback may be struggling today as it is a tough pill to swallow but remember actions speak louder than words. However, they are going to have to think outside the box to find new insults because this is now the new normal. Although it may be heavy lifting, your support is needed more than ever towards those who relied on the phrase, “loose cannon” because there is no I in TEAM. But at the end of the day, everyone will get over this mind-blowing loss, by taking the lemons and turning them into lemonade. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. The phrase will be missed dearly as it will force our emotions to be taken to the next level, and it will take a lot of hammering it out to clear the air but eventually, everyone will get on the same page and be back to square one. I don’t want to beat a dead horse so I feel it's best to end it here. If for some reason your head was in the clouds during this memorial speech, to put this in simple terms the Loose Cannon is going out with a BANG!
While it is tragic that the Loose Cannon and his friends are gone from my writing, at least I will score high on all writing-related assignments from now on. I cannot promise a cringe phrase will not slip out every once in a while in my conversations, but I can say the overused phrases are deposed from all writing, so I am more than ready for all writing in the future!