inch by inch

i’m closer

i see it in the distance

but yet still need closure

i still take wrong turns

and get set back

that won’t stop me

from getting myself back

i have battle scars

and wounds

that won’t fade away

it’s been a long journey

at least i’m on my way

once i’m finished

i won’t look back

leaving my demons

all in the past

time will heal me slowly

i truly believe that

but until then

i must keep fighting back

i want to scream

i want to hide

my fucking past

haunts me every time

anywhere i go

i always know

it will soon

be following right behind

“let it go”

i always hear

as the words pour out

i start to fear

who will save me when the time is near?

people come and go

i’m tired of never letting it show

who i was

who i am

and who i’ll be

when they give me a chance

to be me

no stress

no worries

when nights are kinda blurry

laughter in the air

with not a single care

living in the moment

we can’t let it past

for we may never get it back

that’s how i’m trying to be

like the world is at my feet

i want that feeling

i’m searching to find

time is never on our side

but here i am

waiting to seek

this crazy feeling

to be free

believing in someone

can be deceiving

when your heart wants something

but it causes bleeding

your mind saying no

you shouldn’t go

you chose to hold out

without a doubt

that things could be different

...

just one more chance

over and over again

my heart hurts

and my mind

starts to dance

a repeating cycle

of endless hope

you were the one

i wanted the most

somethings just aren’t meant to be

but my heart won’t stop bleeding

and my mind won’t leave me be

tick-tock

like the time on a clock

i’m staring into the darkness

...

it’s getting late

and i’m starting to think

nothing can take this pain away

it’s been five years

since i’ve truly been me

i’ve been searching all over

but there’s nothing to see

i want it to all come back

the good memories i have

almost another 365 days

that have been taken away

where has the time gone?

wasted away by sadness

is the least i could say

i thought time could heal everything

but i guess today is not my day

heart beating

quicker and quicker

with every touch

you knew exactly how to make me blush

time and time again

i would go back

but then

you told me i couldn’t stay

the words would replay

in my head

over and over

until the end of the day

good things never last

i’m haunted by past

you were everything i could’ve asked

i’m sorry i couldn’t give that back

i had to let you go

i couldn’t let you know

i’m scared to love

and i can’t let it grow

one day i’ll be strong

i hope you’re still hanging on

when i see you again

i’ll just smile

you’ll just grin

i’ll never know what could have been

the ones you don’t know open their mouths

without a doubt

spinning their webs of lies

ear to ear

you might hear

things you have to justify

cruel, mean, obscured things

everyone has to make a scene

if it isn’t you,

it’s me

i’m tired of being made a movie screen

mirror mirror on the wall

who’s the prettiest

of them all

i paint my face

do my hair

“i am almost ready,

i swear”

disappointment

a sad song

it’s time to go

now i know why i am

all alone

i looked up to you

you were messed up in the head

thinking that this was okay

to hurt me in every possible way

i was just a kid

instead of being afraid of monsters under my bed

i was scared of things you’d do to me instead