When You End Mid-Sentence
A cacophony of shadows, and all I feel is fear.
They're closing in on me.
One step at a time.
There's a drum in my chest.
Beating at a wild, uncontrolled tempo.
It gets louder.
I feel it in my head.
In my ears.
They back me up until I hit the hard, jagged press of the cave wall behind me.
I feel the cold seep through me.
A shiver runs through my body.
All I see are a dozen pairs of malevolent eyes floating in the inky blackness.
I feel their shadows on me.
As cold as ice.
I shiver again, involuntarily.
I close my eyes.
I await my death.
My rebellious mind thinks
"The end is nigh"
This is not
Does This Count As Nonfiction
I walk up to the microphone. Folding my hands together, I look at the judges.
"Your word is hyacinth."
I see it in my head. I remember when I wrote the definition of it--"a flower"--down next to it in my review packet.
I feel relieved. I know how to spell it.
"H-y-a-c-i-n-t-h" is what I think I say.
"H-y-a-n-c-i-n-t-h" is what comes out of my mouth.
"I'm sorry, that is incorrect."
I'm met with a huge applause for making it to the final four, but I'm confused.
Didn't I spell it right?
I walk off the stage. The principal congratulates me. The other spelling bee finalists congratulate me. But I don't know what I did wrong. I should still be up there, on the stage, spelling more ridiculously confusing words.
But it's okay.
I already knew that silly mistakes were my downfall.
Waiting For Love
Monday left me broken
Tuesday I was through with hoping
Wednesday my empty arms were open
Thursday waiting for love, waiting for love
Thank the stars it's Friday
I'm burning like a fire gone wild on Saturday
Guess I won't be coming to church on Sunday
I'll be waiting for love, waiting for love
To come around
- Waiting For Love, Avicii
(Search it on Youtube, and watch both the music video and the lyric video---it's so... heart wrenching, especially the music video)
Memories, conversations, actions, words.
Reflection. Thinking back on my day and contemplating what I could've done differently.
Making up situations where I would have plenty of time to consider each action.
Talking to myself.
In short, going crazy.
When insomnia strikes, I'm always way too tired to fall asleep.
Without Pain, How Could We Know Joy?
DISCLAIMER: The quote "Without pain, how could we know joy?" is John Green's. I just wrote a story to go along with it.
I fell to the ground, hard. I knew perfectly well who had pushed me. Pain.
I groaned into the dirt. Pain placed his foot on my back to prevent me from getting back up.
He laughed coldly. He couldn’t talk, but I knew exactly what he was thinking.
He lifted up his foot. Before I could roll away, he slammed his heel down on my head.
Excruciating pain took over my senses. I was no longer aware of my surroundings. It was just pain. Pain inflicting pain. Pain was the very essence of, well, pain. I barely felt the punches that he landed on my stomach and back. Everything was numb. Everything was lost in the immeasurable sea of pain.
I was on the verge of blacking out. I could see dark, dense fog, a sea of shadows. Then suddenly, unexpectedly, her voice. A bright ray of sunlight cutting through the impenetrable blackness.
Vaguely, I heard running footsteps. Coming towards me or getting farther, I had no idea. Then I felt her presence next to me, her gentle hands rolling me over.
I cried out involuntarily. She placed her hands on my head. The pain slowly faded away.
“You’ll be fine,” she murmured.
I slowly opened my eyes. There she was. One word to describe her appearance? Beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful. Blond hair in two long braids on either side of her face, soft green eyes, and a glowy, radiant face.
“Thank you,” I tried to say, but was interrupted by a fit of coughing. Blood splattered my shirt and trickled down my chin.
She smiled sadly, knowing what I meant. “I’m Joy,” she said. “I was looking for Pain. Lucky I found him when I did; he would’ve killed you.”
A small realization: without Pain, I wouldn’t have known Joy.
Another small realization: without Joy, Pain would've killed me.
Joy. I smiled. Although it was a small one, it was a smile.
The fog lifted, and was replaced by a peculiar feeling. And I knew what it was.
It was joy.
Rain, Oh Rain
Rain, oh rain
Wash away my sorrow
Lift up my heart
Tell me dreams of tomorrow
Sun, oh sun
Shine down on my back
Make me blind to see
The kindness we lack
Stars, oh stars
Twinkle in the sky
You are like
Diamonds I'll never buy
Moon, oh moon
Don't leave me alone
Shine a path in the dark
Promise you'll get me home
Something to earn
Something to gain
Something to trust
Something to stain
To stain with blood
To murder, to kill
To have blood on your hands
To have blood to spill
Something to take
Something to steal
Something to touch
Something to feel
To have with greed
To hide, to lie
To live a life of deceit
To bleed them dry
Something to need
Something to crave
Something to hoard
Something to save
To run away
To leave your soul
To go astray