I woke up last night in a way

The chaos broke out and stole my breath and my tounge could hardly mumble an aggressive defense, or even speak

My hands were shaking, and my head was dizzy,

but it wasn't from no sleep, or wine

It was the beast that's been after me my whole life

I had to confront the monster again, threating to kill him , promising to god i would tear his head off and tear his soul to shreds if he did not back down

The first virtue of a soldier is to endure fatigue, courage is only the second i kept telling myself as i tried to walk down the road cussing and fighting with the invisible demons that know one else knows can cut me so deep

I become a killer to a killer of courage

I become a killer of the things that get in the way of loving the people in my circle of trust, to a killer of my soul, my very breath without exageration

If i do not find the monster in me to fight the monster that fights me, even though know one knows, I will die silently, trying to please the people who fight lesser battles, and don't know the intensity of my war torn mind.

But hey, i won! back on my feet, as mean as ever, and standing in the way of all that stands in the way of the time i have left to spend here.