I put on my armour

I gear up for war

Preparing myself

to make it to shore

I fight and scream

until I have nothing left

I break into pieces

I am put to the test

But still I rise

my weapons in hand

I am ready to win

I know it will be grand

The pain I have felt

the horrors I have seen

they do not compare

to what I know is coming

But I know one day

I will feel warm again

I will win my battle

I just don't know when

twisted versions spew out of their mouth

my heart it tethers at the sound

hate and lies spread with ease

I don't know if there is anyone I can please

they talk and laugh at my struggles

and make me seem like I am trouble

but they don't know the battle I have fought

my mind becomes so distraught

they don't see the goodness in my soul

they see me as crazy and unstable and not whole

their rumors thrive all the while false

and no one ever thinks about the source

I could never judge someone as they have me

but I guess when you're filled with hatred it gives you glee

to bash someone who has been through hell

when you tell the things you that were not yours to tell

maybe its because you're insecure

or maybe its because youre sad and bored

but why spread all that negativity

instead of filling your own life with sereintiy

I will never understand why someone is so mean

all I can do is hope and pray that they see

that their words they throw out matter

and they could make someone else's world shatter

you should not be proud of your gossip and opinions

on something that never involved you to begin with

take a second while you read

and wonder if this poem is about me

because if that answers turns out to be yes

I encourage you to self reflect

on your actions and your abilities

to fuel hate in this world full of tradegies

and while to your twisted soul it may seem fun

how could you ever want to hurt someone

you never know what they have gone through

so treat all with kindness and do what you should do

but what is the saddest part of it all

is that you hate on others because you are small

you project your insecurities behind a phone

and then wonder why you are all alone

see the funny apart about being so hateful

is that it makes you look very untasteful

and then when you have no one left to make fun of

thats when youll realize you do it because they are above

above you thriving despite all of your hate

so hopefully you change before its too late

because in this world you get what you give

and when you only give hate, thats a sad life to live

but the part you didn't know about all of your squander

is that in the end, it only makes me better and stronger

so next time you go to judge someone else

think first, are you really so perfect yourself?

Pain has held me

close and tight

but even under its grip

I chose to fight

Like a flower

I blossemed by the trees

but I was fragile

So I broke with ease

But now my skin

has shed its layers

and what is left

are hopes and prayers

The past would choke me

turning me blue

but when I broke free

I became someone new

I have tossed away

my worries and doubts

Now I see the sun

through all the clouds

I am not perfect

I’m tainted and torn

but through forgiveness

I have been reborn

Like the moon

I shine bright and clear

Even in darkness

I hold no fear

I try to talk

but no one hears me

I try to move

but no one's near me

I laugh and smile

but what no one knew

is that all the while

the hurt I was going through

I fear ridicule and shame

So I hide and I keep quiet

because even though I'm in pain

there's no point to even try it

But what I really can't bear

as I lie awake at night

Is knowing no one cares

so I give up the fight

I cry as I stare

I know I will never compare

the scale won't go down

my smile turns to a frown

"ugly, gross, disgusting"

I tell myself as I stop trusting

throw up another meal

I can't help how I feel

I will never be thin

Out of all the girls, I won't ever win

I see imperfection at every angle

My heart is in shangles

I want to know their trick

I feel like getting sick

My stomach will never be flat

No matter what I do I still look fat

"I wish I was skinny"

I say to myself

as the room starts spinning

I ran to you

You gave me protection

I looked up to you

I thought you were perfection

You layed with me

You told me to stay quiet

Why? I wondered

You told me not to fight it

You touched me

I thought it was innocent

You forced yourself onto me

My mind became dissonant

You lied to me

I thought this was normal

I ran from you

Your lies caused me turmoil

You ruined me

I kept all of your secrets

I'm afraid of you

Now I have weakened

You took away my childhood

Now I see you

Everytime I try to move

You touched me

And my world shattered in front of me

She follows me

All day long

She whispers to me

Telling me lies

Making me cry

She won't go away

I tell her

She cannot stay

But she follows me

Haunting my dreams

As I try to break free

From her shangles

She causes me pain

Will I ever get away

I can't take it anymore

I want to make her pay

She convinces me

To swallow the pills

It will be better for everyone

She whispers

As she puts them in my hand

I smile

Maybe she was right

I go to sleep

And my shadow holds me tight

And everything fades

Goodbye, I tell her

It is time

She whispers

To end it all and stay

Stay with me

She tells me

It is the only way