This morning

while I was washing my ass hole

in the shower

I realized I had to fart.

I turned my head around

hoping to create bubbles out of my ass.

Once I let it out

to my surprise

no bubbles were made.

I was somewhat dissapointed

but I still giggled at the thought of me

hoping to see bubbles

coming out of my ass hole

in the shower.

Tall. Black.

Blue.

The sides of somebody coming.

Somebody.

Some. Body.

Ocean sounds

down

on the sand

inside of my head.

Yellow. Red.

Fluffy white.

Soft heat on the bottom

of my toes.

Chair

right now

accompanied

by the computer

dialogue.

Rain pours outside.

I hear.

Wonder.

Why.

Today:

I don't remember

if there was anything to do.

I washed all of the

mess in the kitchen.

I vacuumed all of the

crumbs on the floor.

I ate rice in the morning.

I walked to class.

I walked home.

I drove to class.

I drove home.

Opening my door I could feel

the force of the unknown

man made occurances.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

The moment will never end.

I made my rice for tomorrow.

I washed my dishes.

Turned out the lights.

Walked over to my bed.

Sleep.

When we pass

each other

we both would like

to recognize

each other's

existence.

I think

there was an

unspoken agreement

that we both communicated

through the gesture

of not saying

or looking.

Am I again

home?

California.

Soft wind coming from nightly

storms.

I'm not away from anything.

California feels like home

again.

Am I a kid again?

Innocence bleeding

out of the pores of my skin

-and I laugh

like I'm faking it.

I hear footsteps.

I hear ambience.

The stories coming from days

lived

that seem as if they were dreams

now.

How come existence

doesn't acknowledge me?

And I still dance forever inside

the light

of infinity.

Do you

want to go get

dinner on

the side of the road?

I'll pay.

I'll be granted

with some rare opportunity

of dealing

on top of life

that's realized God was themselves.

Even if you think

those lives arn't

as valuable.

Hide and seek can be a fun

game.

It's an interesting moment we live.

I'm not here to help you

or figure out

why you don't have a clue

to how God

chooses who will live forever

in eternal bliss.

I am here for us

as if the us mattered to us.

It's all us.

One.

I'm here for you to find out

Please don't blame anyone else

because there is no one

else.

Everything is happening at once

all the time.

And you're worried?

You must never forget that

you can create life.

Why can nobody see the tears

of the baby

crying in the depths of my soul?

To nobody but himself,

the weeping continues

through the days and nights

wanting

Far someone to hear.

The front man doesn't speak

because he has no words

for this.

There's only longing

for something

that he doesn't know.

The search seems to continue into

the unknown.

And the only way that seems

to take him

is the only way there's ever been.

Realizing

of what has always been

right here

all along.

I am the:

nagger,

complainer,

over achiever,

racist,

lover.

I am

every man,

every woman

who walks

among themselves.

I am not I

but you.

You are not you

but I.

Hello again,

I've found you.

I remember the moment

I found out

and the heaviness began

to set into my chest.

I thought it would go away

into the uncertainty

and unknown

where it came from.

I still feel the violent pull

that forces it's way through

me.

I still feel the deep

heaviness from the beginning.

I still feel the same

when you're around.

I want to make you happy.

I thought it would leave.

I thought it would stop.

I thought.

I thought.

I could never admit

the feelings I have.

Fuck.

Why do you have to be

so beautiful?