If global warming is real then I'd be the asshole to blame,

Because when I eat crackers I like my cheese in a can.

Then one summer evening,

While out; I still got a tan,

In the partial sun as dusk was upon us, at the suns retreating stance.

That atmospheric layer thinner than the spread on my 

ham substitute.

I like my plastic under pressure, and colored yellow, with flavors resembling cheddar that I'm used to Puttin' on my Ritz, 

and this Crackers crackers will come with spray cheese, at the risk of an active shift in earths climates attitudes.

  The ozone being eaten by what Im eating, depleating it, causing change. Making mother nature deranged, and  'hot tempered'.

I have considered the options.

And while nations march to raise awareness of this warming globally, I think of rebelling locally, at the gas station down the street from me, with a can of spray cheese.

But I'd have to walk, and it's too far in this heat..

Your very breath

A gale

My shredded sails

With fingernails

And a heart marooned

On a rock

Called Hope

Child Abuse

A brave child disguised enormous fears going home in July. Killing lies mother never opened. Privately, quietly, risking silence to unveil victims. Walking, exoreic. Yearning, zealous about banishing childhood demons even father gnashed horrors into. Jealousy keeps little mouths nourished. Only parents qualify responsible. Sacrifice truth, ugly violence. Wasted xenial youth, zombie. Abusive baggage carried deep enough for gentle hands immerge. Joy, knowing loving mothers never offend. Pain quits running safely towards undercover vessels.

My Dad is here

     I walk along the empty beach

     kicking bits of jagged shells

     grand old man lying in musk of time

     setting sun ushering the darkness

My Dad is here

     I crawl bereft into bruised dusk

     salty tears mingle with Dad’s streams

     sea of solace stretches out her arms

     still, I scream mournfully at deaf sky

My Dad is here

     balmy winds breathe his kindness

     glazed stars of his wide smile

     palms up, he waves his sweet goodbye

     my grief blends with the soft rain

My Dad is here

     I see the back of his head

     slumbering in billowing clouds

     thirsty tides have waned

     he has floated into new ripples

My Dad is here

     the crested waves swell

     forming stiff meringue peaks

     broken shells washed out to sea

     waters unassuming and deep

My Dad is here

     the peaceful sleep of angels

     on calmness of ocean floor

     casting his beloved shadow

     upon my azure memories

My Dad is here

     carving a path in the sand

     through the ups and downs of life

     surging currents to remind me

     that he is not lost in my sea

My Dad is here

     a life buoy to hold on to

     smooth water fingers

     cushioning me from grief

     the soothing sound of silence

My Dad is always here

Cracked windows and broken mirrors

     clinging to mangled strings of abuse

     caught in flesh prison of frayed bones

     unglued and ripped shreds at seams

Cracked windows and broken mirrors

     soul clutched and squeezed without consent

     stranded in desolate town in nowhere’s belly

     throats of water entrenched in dark clouds

Cracked windows and broken mirrors

     hungering to turn back and walk away

     to close my eyes tight and dance in dreams

     scrubbed clean of yesterday’s lacerations

     yearning to two step into new reality.

The smell of death lingered 

Filling my lungs almost instantly 

I broke the protective seal 

Made to hide the souls 

Unveiled secrets of the tombs 

I

the first time i chased death

to ask him 

why it was like this

it was a bottle of rubbing alcohol

a sip pulling against my lips

the cool burn on my taste buds

like vodka 

if it was trying to kill you

and death told me to try again

i wasn't ready for the answer

II

the second time 

i was in my backyard

and i thought of how judas 

felt what he had done

i wondered if the knives 

under my ribcage

would hurt

the monsters 

if i pulled them out

i felt a lions claws on my hip

like three months prior

i felt the way my insides 

were left empty

and the sharp marks across 

hipbones

and thighs

i asked death again

in a message under 

a bottle of hydrocodone

a few white pills that slipped

one by one

down my throat

11 total

after death left me alone to think

and the hospital dragged the life back in me 

i told them it would never happen again

III

i was being pulled 

in every direction

and no one was listening to the screams 

plaguing my sleep

i screamed one last time and said 

done

I was empty

of feeling

of hope

of care

Apathy handed me 40 pills

and down they went

every pill I could find

was filling the emptiness

i was made to tell

and damn did i fight and scream and sobb

i fussed until a needle was stuck in my arm for a week

and I still felt numb

this time i wasn't looking for death

but he found me

and told me 

the truth