The future was exciting,

our chance to be free,

but the distance was cruel

and left no time for me.

Phone calls unanswered-

but only on your side,

so if we do fall apart

at least I know I tried.

Maybe I worried about it too much.

The paranoia ran deep, I couldn't escape it. I was always afraid of losing you. To an accident, another woman, maybe just to yourself.

I worried about it until I was sick in mind and body, until my head hurt and my stomach felt heavy.

Maybe I did this to myself.

My thoughts turned to magnets and I brought this upon us, what we were.

I don't know if you care to hear from me anymore, but I want you to know I'm sorry.

I didn't mean for this to happen.  

I went to bed with a sadness so deep I could feel it in my bones. A sadness that made it difficult to do much more than sob and shake.

When I woke up it was gone, replaced by the dull ache of nothing. The sadness in my bones is now a bit of self-hatred, loneliness, hopelessness.

What I wouldn't give to have my sadness back.

Walking along the borderline of sanity, you fell into the abyss and lost your mind. Nothing was hidden at the bottom, not a single monster or memory. All of your regrets crawled out of the corners, fully armed and ready to fight. They pushed forward until your back was against the wall, and for the first time in years you came face to face with your demons.

Are you strong enough to take them on?

Happy is a dream where you're still here, a dream where the sky didn't swallow you whole.

Where your hands are still warm and eyes still bright, where you say the same horrible jokes with the same crooked smile.

I could wish for a million things, but it will never compare.

For me, happy will always be you.

I don't want to bore you.

I don't want to be another entry you skim over.

I want to tell you that even at your lowest point, there is hope.

Two years ago, I tried to escape into the sky and leave this world behind; however, it did not work.

Since then, I tried to escape in other ways. In harm, alcohol, smoke.

That seems to be the truth among us as people: we are always trying to plan our escape.

Yet it was in my escapes that I found a reason to hold on.

I found love.

I was not ready to join you all.

The Earth feels wrong beneath my feet, each breath is uncertain.

I fell too soon, I'm sure of it. 

That's why I'm burning out, my true form is bursting through.

It's killing me.

Send me back to the sky where I belong, let me shine with my brothers and sisters until it's my time to walk among the rest.  

I'm burning, I must return to the stars.