happi ness

is making

you smile

my love

(meant to be in the shape of a smile..... i am also just filling word count )

A quiet room and an ivory peice of paper.

A mechanical pencil strewn carelessly over.

A radio softly playing old country songs.

The occanial ad playing in pesimistic tones.

The blinds pulled up and sunlight streaming in.

The window open and in blowing summer wind.

The screams and laughs coming from the neighborhood pool.

The voice of a friend sitting on the bed, chatting.

The gray body of a dog laying on the carpet, panting.

Happiness is my fondest memory of summer.

I get in my car, sprawling comfortably in the back seat, with my knees pressed against the front one.

The car starts, and we set off.

I roll down down the window slowly,

enjoying the draft of cool air coming in...

The car picks up speed.

The steady, low drum of the wind causes pleasant shivers to race down my neck

Down.. through my back as my windswept hair brushes my face, tickling my cheek and ear.

I close my eyes and smile, taking in the moment...

Taking in the low hum of the radio

Taking in the comforting whirr of the vehicles going by

Taking in the feeling of being with my loved ones...

I open my eyes and for one precious moment, I'm alive

Completely and wholly alive

Thrumming with exhilaration

Thrumming with the sheer incredulity of how lucky I am...

And--

The moment passes

The intense rush of emotions fade away, leaving behind a peaceful contentment...

We reach our destination.

I close the window and get out,

get back to life,

the ethereal moment secured safely in my heart...

Happiness. A trivial word, one that could keep philosophers busy for hours and leave artists interpreting in thousands of ways. Happiness is different for everyone but for me, it is the present. If you had asked me 1 year ago what is happiness I would say, “I’m not quite convinced I’ve ever had true happiness. How can you have something you can’t define.”

If you ask me now I’ll say it’s the present. It’s what fills the atmosphere, it’s the girl next door who makes you blush, it’s family gatherings that make you nervous. It’s the sun, moon, stars and all the space between. It’s the reason we wake up every day, the very illusion of its existence motivates us to find it. Searching for happiness is like that awkward moment when you look for your glasses but they’ve been upon your head the entire time. It’s having stability in your life. I know this because last year I was happy. I could only see it once it was a memory. My dad was alive and his sheer reality brought me happiness, I just didn’t realize it would be different, my dad has passed away and now I know happiness is memories that are being made. I’m happy right now in the sense that I can see what I have. I realized those glasses were upon my head and I’m now looking through them seeing the world clearer than I ever have before.

i feel happy,

at the moment

i feel happy inside out.

but i wonder what it is,

what this means

and how to hold it.

i don't know if i'm breathing

or holding my breath,

i wonder if i cling to that

"happiness".

i wonder, would i fall or float,

if I closed my eyes and

waited.

Happy,

a feeling that comes and goes.

I show it with laughter, tears, clapping my hands...

Joy,

a state of wellbeing that remains unchanged, in spite of extenuating circumstances.

Even if I spill my coffee, I still have joy.

It’s combed cotton pajamas

softest woollen socks

The cracklin’ logs on fire

the smell of winter pines.

A fleecy throw and snuggly bed

after a hot, scented bath.

Happiness is knowing

the beauty of winter

without its cruelty

Happiness,

it’s being inside looking out.